This is a follow-up to How To Paint With Two Kids Under Three.
The corona-time special. The previous blog post was rather general. This is going to be a bit more precise. The reason to write it down is simply to provide information for those who are lucky enough to work from home WITHOUT kids and as a consolation to those, who DO have them and to make one thing understood for once and for all: you are not alone. I am not alone. But it's better to write it down, as there is NO TIME to visit a psychologist! And therefor, it's the only therapy: to write it down. To be open.
First, it is WORST to be AT HOME. Yesterday, we had a 3-hour drive (me and my two boys). Often, I am positively surprised that my older son Oskar comes up with very good ideas. This day started with the silent idea whilst I was driving. When I gave a look to my side, his jeans had a new pattern done with highlighters. But mostly, driving 600 km a day is a way easier thing to do with kids than staying at home, where all the furniture is ruined already.
Have you ever thought that the subbase that has been a bit moving in the floor due to excess water that can happen for various reasons, can wholly be coloured dark blue in seconds? Eternally! Or cubes of watercolour solve so interestingly in a plastic box meant for keeping food, so during this cut-and-try whole bathroom, including toilet seat and brush, turn brilliantly dark green? Of course, no cleaning is miraculously intriguing, so those watercolour cubes are left unattended whereever they might have been used (or unused).
Later that evening, I discovered baby Ekke had a whole cube of yellow watercolour in mouth, I caught that one, but one cube was still missing from the box. When the children were put to bed, I started searching the whole apartment for the missing cube just to be sure it's not in his stomach. Didn't find it. Practically no sleep. Just listening if no hints of a colour came out of his mouth while he was breathing in his sleep. In the morning, we had another 1,5h drive and back -- so another 3 hours of rest of constant throwing things and jumping, also at each other.
So how is someone supposed to work in such conditions? I am working AND looking at the kids, AND of course, things get done in seconds, much faster by the kids than by me. Just one eye blink away and some mess is already there, or mostly, someone screaming for he got hurt (again, like the 101th time of the day). But that's how it is for so many people (mothers) out there who have no help with taking care of the kids -- and where should that help come during a corona time, where there should be NO connections?
It's only the €€€€+ taxes that have to be paid EVERY SINGLE MONTH for an AVERAGE salary that I need to pay to get bills paid + costs to keep the business alive, but that is a whole another topic.
It's so hard to do it ALL alone and I SO understand the female artists who say they have chosen a career and not to have kids, but the second is harder than ANY career one can have. Of course, if it would be JUST raising kids, that would not be so difficult, but difficult is to do it ALL, when you need to do it AT THE SAME TIME. That is no meditation camp. No comfort zone. That is the actual ENLIGHTENMENT ACHIEVED ONCE THIS IS OVER. No worries for being late, having troubles... When one could finally FOCUS and not MULTITASK at things, that ALL are important.
PS! I tried to find ONE positive thing about it, and the one thing I could find was: SHARING it.
PPS! Another option: just DON'T EVEN BOTHER, and after the shortest possible Zoom call, aka 20 minutes, just enter VERY DISCREETLY (be prepared for third war having taken place) and ask very silently: Are you alive, y'all?
(I've done it with one. Two would be too dangerous, as I still prefer them alive.)